Most men worry about struggling with premature ejaculation. After all, it’s a condition that affects millions of men every year and has damaged many relationships – sometimes beyond repair. But the flip side of that coin is delayed orgasm. While lasting too long may seem like a great problem to have, the truth is it can be just as frustrating as premature ejaculation. In fact, delayed orgasm can result in physical pain as well as emotional pain if left untreated.
Timing is Everything
When it comes to sexual performance, everyone knows how important timing can be. From taking your time and stretching out foreplay to really focusing on your partner and allowing yourself to get lost in the moment when it comes to active sex, timing plays a crucial role in sexual satisfaction. For men, it all comes down to how long they’re able to delay orgasm. While many women need to slowly build their levels of arousal in order achieve orgasm, for men it’s often something they feel is completely out of their control. Premature ejaculation gets a lot of attention since it’s one of the most common sexual performance issues for men. But for those who suffer with delayed orgasm, the frustration – and the pain – can be worse.
Delayed Orgasm – Why It’s a Problem
The thought of lasting for hours without an orgasm may seem like a day dream to some men, but for others it’s a real life nightmare. Delayed orgasm doesn’t necessarily mean you get to have high quality sex for longer – sometimes it just means you begin to get frustrated and enter a cycle of trying to build toward an orgasm but the pressure of wanting to orgasm further inhibits you. When this goes on for long enough you end up with a sexual partner who is tired, frustrated and most likely beginning to develop friction burns since she won’t be as lubricated. At the same time, you’ll be feeling sexually frustrated and physically exhausted which means even more stress.
How do you know if you have a problem with delayed ejaculation? There are three major symptoms:
1. Taking longer than normal to achieve orgasm.
2. Being able to reach orgasm only when you masturbate.
3. Not being able to achieve orgasm no matter what.
The first symptom – taking longer than normal – is somewhat relative and can also be a red herring. If you go through a phase where it’s taking you longer than before to reach orgasm but you’re able to achieve it within a reasonable amount of time, don’t worry. What’s a reasonable amount of time? According to several recent studies, the average acceptable time for active sexual activity (not including foreplay or sexual play) is 8 – 12 minutes. After 20 minutes or so, many women begin to have a hard time staying lubricated, though others can go for much longer. The key is to take cues from your partner. If she’s beginning to struggle to keep up or you notice she’s simply not into it or in pain, stop for awhile. Use a water based lube or try a new position.
How to Handle Any Sexual Performance Problem
Premature ejaculation and delayed orgasm may represent two extremes in the world of sexual performance issues, but the treatment remains the same. Addressing any sort of performance issue is about listening to your body, taking care of yourself and working and communicating openly with your partner.
By tackling the problem head on, you’ll be better able to look into alternative therapies and to try new ways to enhance your sexual life. Encourage your partner to be a part of the solution and don’t underestimate the seriousness of any sexual issue. If home remedies and self-help don’t do the trick, be sure to seek out the advice of a professional. Treatment options range from medication and nutritional support to sexual or psychological therapy to help overcome blocks that may be buried in your unconscious. No matter what treatment you find that works for you, be open to trying new things and always involve your partner. Making her a part of the solution will empower you both and can help improve your sex life even as you undergo treatment.