Premature ejaculation is perhaps one of the final taboo subjects when it comes to male sexual health. Men simply don’t like to even think about it, much less discuss it openly. But this reluctance to discuss the problem leads to plenty of misunderstanding and, in some cases, anxiety so intense that it actually causes the problem to crop up in men who otherwise wouldn’t have to worry about it. So here we’ve rounded up five of the most important facts you need to know about early ejaculation so that you can determine if it’s a problem for you and, if so, what you can do about it.

1. We’re Talking Less Than a Minute

When men can’t last for hours, some think that equates to an issue with early ejaculation. While there may be pressure to be able to go all night, premature ejaculation refers to men who can’t make it past the first minute – and even that is being generous. According to several studies, men last an average f three to seven minutes when it comes to active sexual contact. That means time spent actually engaging in penetrative sex. Although there’s nothing wrong with wanting to last longer than that, if you’re making it past a minute, you don’t have clinical premature ejaculation.

2. Orgasm Can Be Controlled

Many people think that an orgasm is simply a physical reaction and that there’s nothing you can do to control either the orgasm itself or the physical responses that lead up to it. This is perhaps one of the most dangerous myths about sexuality – and one that people are relieved to hear is patently untrue. Learning how to direct and control an orgasm is no easy task and for men dealing with performance issues, it can be especially frustrating at first. However, training your body and learning how to read your body’s signals can help you last much longer in bed and even result in more intense orgasms once you finally do let go.

3. The Cause Isn’t Always Physical

The causes of early ejaculation are varied. It could be how you eat, your level of fitness, an underlying health concern or, more likely, the problem is between your ears. Stress and anxiety are, hands down, two of the leading causes of sexual performance problems for both men and women. Reducing your stress levels, seeking out counseling or dealing with other emotional problems are often the most effective treatment for problems in the bedroom. Even if you choose to pursue other treatments first, reducing your stress levels will help make those treatments more effective and may also lead to an improvement in other areas as well.

4. The Talking Cure

When you have a problem in the bedroom, it affects your partner as well. Discussing sexual concerns can be awkward, even for a couple that has a long history together. While these conversations can be difficult to start, the pay off can be huge. Talking about your concerns with your partner can lead to new ways to handle early ejaculation, including finding ways to extend foreplay, positions that can delay orgasm and other options you may simply not think of on your own. As a bonus, having such open and frank discussions about your sex life can be a turn-on in and of itself and can easily result in more explosive, intense and meaningful sex.

5. Treating Early Ejaculation Affects the Rest of Your Life

Problems between the sheets can sap your confidence, leading you to feel low in other areas of your life. This is why tackling early ejaculation head on is your best bet. Dealing with the issue in a straight-forward and healthy way boosts your confidence and gives you the feeling of being in control again – literally and figuratively. This boost translates into a better sense of self-confidence in other areas of your personal and professional life. So don’t delay finding a treatment that works for you – happiness in the bedroom plants the seed for a successful and rewarding life everywhere else.