I don’t remember ever hearing about it from my parents. We didn’t talk about it in school. We certainly didn’t talk about it in church. We don’t talk about it in our workplaces. In fact, perhaps the only place people are willing to talk about it is on the Internet. The anonymity provided by the digital world has finally made it possible to share our experiences without shame, and although it has also provided an environment for the proliferation of tons of nonsense and bad information, it also enables us to talk about things we never would have talked about before. Things like premature ejaculation. I would bet that none of us could recall the last time we said those words to anyone out loud, even our closest friends. But the reality is, when we are suffering from premature ejaculation, although we may be ashamed and embarrassed, we need someone to talk to about it.

A 2009 survey found that about 15 percent of all couples were bored with their sexual lives. This number more than doubles when the persons interviewed were married. More than 32 percent of married persons described their spouses as “predictable and boring” in bed. Keeping sex fresh in a long-term relationship is a challenge, and married couples that suffer from premature ejaculation have it even worse. The question is, how can a couple keep things fresh when the woman never gets to experience any pleasure at all? When men ejaculate early into the sexual experience, it can be extremely frustrating for both parties.

Men and women both have frequently expressed that intercourse is better when both participants are genuinely enjoying it, and so even though the man is reaching climax, it is hardly the most enjoyable climax he could have. Sex can be a natural and healthy way to release stress, bond with a partner, and get some exercise while doing it. But when it isn’t working right, and especially when it isn’t working right in a marriage, it can have exactly the opposite effects; it the worst cases, it can drive a wedge between couples, causing the very stress and tension it is supposed to be eliminating.

Hollywood and popular culture have put into our heads the notion that once couples get married, their sex lives naturally just get worse. But not only does this not tell the whole story, it doesn’t even tell the right story. Marriage can be a place of vibrant and wonderful sexual experiences. The well-known sex expert Dr. Laura Berman concurs with this, citing many recent studies that have shown that married people actually have more frequent and more varied sex than single people. An enormous part of keeping sex alive in marriage is the mental battle: knowing that it actually can be kept alive is the key to victory. Too many married persons, and married men in particular, fall prey to the popular notion that there is no sex after marriage.

Fighting premature ejaculation is no different: a giant part of winning the fight is knowing that it can be won. Another major component to winning, as is the case in any battle, is making sure you are using the most effective weapons to increase your longevity in bed. First of all, we need to communicate. Many of us have never had the opportunity to communicate about difficult topics like early ejaculation. The culture doesn’t provide many safe places for those conversations, so when it comes to having the conversation with our wife, we feel awkward, like we are doing something wrong. But this is just another cultural misconception.

Communication about sexual experiences is perhaps the only way to know how to move past them. You can also find help by communicating with people online, and it is recommended that you talk to a doctor as well if there are numerous occurrences, just to check for serious medical conditions that may be the cause of your premature ejaculation.

Finally, consider using a premature ejaculation pill. Most pills ingredients are all-natural, and are substances that your body needs to perform at its peak. Many of us are simply not getting the nutrition we need, so our sexual performance is suffering as a result.

Sexual chemistry is certainly not the only key to making a marriage last. It takes cooperation and compromise for many years to do this, especially when stressful situations arise. But great sex can help a marriage thrive in stressful situations by providing a healthy release of that stress and giving both partners comfort and pleasure.