Problems with sexual performance can be stressful no matter how sporadic or seemingly easy to treat. In some cases, the problem is a common one and is something where advice, medical support and potential treatments can be found through a variety of different means. Magazine articles, health shows on television, supplement websites and a host of other venues can offer advice, support … and a plethora of treatment options. With all the help available, why are so many men fighting the problem on their own?
Big Strong Men and a Fear of Vulnerability
The stereotype of a man as a strong and virile force is one that men both embrace and run from. While every guy wants to be seen as the Knight in Shining Armour to loved ones, the truth is that men are at their most strong when they’re willing to be vulnerable. This is especially true when it comes to dealing with performance issues such as premature ejaculation.
A study in 2014 conducted by Swiss researchers focused on women and how premature ejaculation affected them. Researchers polled 1,500 women from a variety of cultures and backgrounds to better understand how the problems of their partner wound up directly affecting them. Around 40% of the respondents confirmed that they believed orgasm control was a vital part of sexual satisfaction and that when their partners had problems, they naturally assumed that burden of guilt, anxiety and worry men thought they were shouldering alone.
When men shut down and block their partners out on conversations about treatment options, women can feel increasingly cut off and unimportant. This, in turn, feeds back into the cycle of anxiety and stress that feeds this and other types of sexual performance problems. Simply put, not talking to your partner can make the problem worse and, in many cases, diminishes how effective treatment can be.
The Solution is Simple – Open Your Mouth
Of course, opening up and discussing problems in the bedroom is easier said than done. The truth is that no one feels automatically comfortable talking about problems they have with sexual performance and, in many cases, couples simply aren’t used to talking about sexual preferences, fantasies or any part of their sex lives openly. The reasons for this are as varied and unique as the people in a couple. For some it’s an issue of simply not being brought up with an open and healthy approach to human sexuality. For others, it’s about a feeling that sex is private and any problem a partner has with performance is their problem to deal with alone. In both cases, this type of thinking is counter-productive.
Study after study has found that couples who come together to deal with any health problem – sexually oriented or not – have a better chance of success than those who attempt to go it alone. Dealing with an issue such as premature ejaculation can be hard enough for a man, but when he feels as though he doesn’t have the support of his partner, it’s even more difficult.
What can a woman bring to the table in terms of helping with treatment? Surprisingly, quite a lot. When women are asked to help their partner, more often than not, they are able to provide new insight to potential causes and help with finding effective treatment. Many times, we can’t see our own problems as clearly as someone else. A man may think he’s handling a new promotion very well, but his wife sees how exhausted, stressed and worn out he has become. Or perhaps it’s a problem with other family members, or a health issue which could be the cause. A wife, girlfriend or other partner is often able to provide insight the patient simply cannot see as he is mired in the problem.
Including your female partner in a treatment plan for premature ejaculation can be difficult at first, especially if you’re not used to discussing sexual topics together. They payoff, however, makes the effort well worth it. Including your partner helps to better identify potential causes which ultimate helps you – and your doctor – devise a treatment plan that can work effectively and more quickly.