Assigning blame is rarely a good approach to a problem, but understand the causes can be helpful. This is especially true as we deal with complex issues such as premature or early ejaculation. Men who have dealt with this issue more than once know that the triggers can be varied. For the most part, it’s things men need to address on their own – but is it possible that sometimes the cause is the person you’re in love with?
This isn’t about blame or laying your problems at the feet of another person. That’s because while your wife or girlfriend may be contributing to the problem – she likely doesn’t realize it.
As most people already know, anxiety and stress are two of the most common triggers for early ejaculation. Once the problem begins, it is difficult, if not impossible, to put on the brakes and get things moving in the right direction quickly. As a result, many men find that the problem invariably gets worse before it gets better.
At the same time, men are unlikely to openly discuss their lackluster performance with their partner. This effectively leaves the woman entirely in the dark while the man in her life struggles with a serious issue. As he is struggling, he’s pulling away from her, focused on researching options, making changes in his behavior that seem to come out of nowhere and he’s constantly distracted.
Put all those things together and you end up with a woman who becomes convinced her man is having an affair. And that doesn’t help the situation at all.
As women become increasingly suspicious about what is going on, they become more combative and tensions are raised at home. Suddenly, a man’s home and his most important relationship become sources of great stress and anxiety. That adds to the problem and makes early ejaculation even more serious. It can become such a force of nature that it doesn’t matter what a man tries – every positive change or step in the right direction that he makes is negated by the stress and anxiety being generated.
As overwhelming as this problem and cycle of dysfunction can seem, there is a simple solution.
Talk to your partner.
By opening up and discussing the problem with your partner, you are setting yourself up for success when it comes to the long-term management of early ejaculation. Bringing the woman in your life into your plan to treat early ejaculation gives you a partner to help learn about new options and make the most out of the options you decide to try.
Having your woman be able to help isn’t the only benefit opening up to her brings. It also completely removes the issue of increased stress and anxiety that results from keeping her in the dark. Suddenly, everything you’re changing makes sense and she can support and encourage you instead of being suspicious and combative.
If you have been dealing with early ejaculation for a while and you’re wondering if your wife or girlfriend is part of the problem, she very well could be. But before you start resenting her and accusing her of making your life even worse, take the time to consider why it could be happening. Talk to her about the breadth of the problem and what you have already tried in order to resolve it. Share your struggles and challenges and you will soon find that she can make the difference between failed attempts and the approach that finally helps you to turn the corner on dealing with early ejaculation once and for all.