No matter how close a couple is, there are some things which are simply difficult to discuss. Sexual performance is perhaps the most awkward topic in the world, no matter how open a couple is. Many women find themselves in a position where they want to talk to their partner about problems with early ejaculation but they simply don’t know how to begin. These five tips will help you broach the topic with compassion and have a meaningful conversation that can turn into positive action.

1. Do Your Homework

Before talking to your partner about premature ejaculation, do some research on your own. Premature ejaculation is the single most common form of sexual dysfunction in the world so there’s plenty of research already done on the subject. Learn about some of the most common triggers (stress, anxiety and fitness) to see how you can help in terms of adopting healthier habits as a natural form of treatment.

Doing some research on your own will let you go into the conversation with a good foundation of understanding. You’ll be able to discuss the condition without having to ask a lot of questions which can alleviate your partner’s anxiety. Your research could also lead you to different treatment options your partner may have never considered. Even though premature ejaculation is common, many men don’t know much about it past what their own experience has taught them.

2. Read About Men’s Experiences

Learning everything you can will help you understand what early ejaculation is, but reading about what men have to say will help you to understand the impact it truly has. Check out forums and message boards devoted to male sexual health and look for threads about premature ejaculation. You can also check out websites like The Experience Project which lists essays from people all over the world about a variety of topics – including sexual performance problems.

Reading about the experiences of others will give you greater insight into how this condition affects men emotionally as well as physically. This can help you better understand how your partner may react when you broach the topic. The discussion could make your partner defensive or even angry. Reading from the experience from a male point of view will make it easier for you to move past any initial bad reaction in order to address the real problem.

3. Be Supportive

As your partner begins to open up, give him the support he needs. If he puts himself down or tries to say it’s just something he has to live with, let him know there are other options. Don’t try and force any particular treatment plan at this point – even if you know it’s a good fit – just offer support so that he knows he’s not alone and that he’s not cursed to a life of premature ejaculation.

4. Listen. No, REALLY Listen

When your partner begins to talk, listen to what he has to say. Don’t just nod along with what he’s saying, take the time to really actively listen. Hearing about everything that’s been happening may include things you didn’t even know about. This can help you both spot potential triggers which could have either brought the condition on or is making it harder to successfully treat.

5. Suggest But Don’t Plan

If you’ve found a treatment for early ejaculation that you think is worth, considering, bring it to his attention. Keep in mind it may be something he’s already tried, but if it’s not don’t press it too much. Your partner needs to feel as though he’s in charge, so offer you suggestions and unyielding support but make it clear he’s in the driver’s seat.

These tips can help to make a conversation about early ejaculation easier to have and more successful in terms of formulating a plan for treatment. While these conversations are never easy to have, they can bring a couple closer which, ultimately, means a better relationship as well as an improved sex life.